Three Rivers Glossary

Because how we talk about things can shape how we experience them, we thought it would be a good idea to be clear about what we mean when we use words in specific ways. Especially since Three Rivers is rooted in the expression of Christianity that became The Religious Society of Friends, and jargon can sometime be hard to interpret at first, we wanted to invite people in to an understanding of the particular ways we use some words and why they matter to us. Being transparent about communication is important to us. If you want to read more about the way we use the terms below, just click on the little down arrow symbol next to the term you’re interested in.

  • To quote the Disability Intersectionality Summit and the Disability Visibility Project, “Access Is Love.” We live in a culture that consistently stigmatizes, excludes, and disables bodies and minds that fall outside a narrowly defined norm. We believe in the social model of disability, which states that disability is created and defined by what a society does not accommodate (for example, if everyone were hearing impaired, captions and signing would be universal and hearing impairment would not be a disability). As Friends we are called to build the Beloved Community. In the Beloved Community, all bodies and minds are accommodated because all bodies and minds are good, needed, and beloved. We seek to make our physical, virtual, and hybrid spaces accessible to a broad range of bodies and minds, including those with visible and invisible disabilities, because we know that accessibility makes our community stronger; that listening to and meeting one another’s access needs offers liberation for all of us; and that access is love. We are committed to asking event attendees about access needs up front; striving to meet access needs with responsiveness, creativity, and humility; and being transparent about the accessibility of our events.

  • Dinner Church is a particular form of semi-programmed worship. In this practice we gather together to cook a meal of local foods, sing, explore scripture, experience expectant waiting worship, and enjoy each others’ company. Dinner church is collaborative - we cook it up together - from setting the space to encouraging people to engage in conversation with one another and bring their questions and desires for deepening connections to each other and the Divine.

  • We find ourselves in significant agreement with Patricia Loring, who writes about discernment in her book, Listening Spirituality.

    Spiritual Discernment is … the faculty we use to distinguish the true movement of the Spirit… from the wholly human urge to share, to instruct, or to straighten people out…. It is the ability to see into people, situations and possibilities to identify what is of God in them and what is of the numerous other sources in ourselves—and what may be both. . . .It is given for the building of the community and of relationship with God rather than for self-fulfillment or self-aggrandizement. . . . We all have been given some measure of the gift of discernment. In a life lived with other priorities, the gift may be left undeveloped. But as we grow and are faithful in the spiritual life, we may well be given more.

    What we’d add is that when discernment is done in community, it both helps to more closely listen for the sound of Spirit’s movement and it helps to deepen community and make sure that people know how it is that God is moving in each other’s lives. By committing to discern in a communal way we give each other the gift of spiritual accompaniment, walking with one another as we each strive to live ever more deeply into faithfulness.

  • Discernment is the practice of listening for what the right next thing to do is. It means slowing down, asking what the situation needs, turning inward to Spirit, and listening for what emerges.

    In English, we get the word “discernment” directly from the Latin word discernere, which means "to separate, set apart, divide, distribute; distinguish, perceive." That word is from dis-, meaning "off or away" and cernere, which means "to separate or sift." If you read the Bible in English, the word “discern” is used as the translation for a few different words in Greek. They all have related, but slightly different meanings including “to test,” “to determine what is reliable, and “to perceive.” In the Quaker tradition we think of discernment as something individual people do, and that it becomes even more significant when we do discernment as a community.

    At Three Rivers we think about discernment as the spiritual practice of listening for guidance that will direct us closer to flourishing, abundant Life, and a more just world.

  • Expectant waiting worship is the practice of a group gathering together in silent corporate listening, holding the possibility that any person may be guided to speak. It means quieting thoughts and body and listening to the “still small voice” of God, responding as needed. The “expectant” part of expectant waiting worship means setting an intention to expect that God can and will show up when time is taken to actually listen for what is right. During expectant waiting worship anyone who feels like they have been given the right words for that day may speak them to the whole of the gathered group. The group listens and imagines that what is spoken is exactly what they need to hear. It is a practice of listening to God through inward reflection and community prayer.

  • We are inspired by the idea of fractal action in the work of adrienne maree brown. She says that fractal thinking means recognizing that “the health of the cell is the health of the species and the planet.” In her book, Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds, she writes:

    In a fractal conception, I am a cell-sized unit of the human organism, and I have to use my life to leverage a shift in the system by how I am, as much as with the things I do. This means actually being in my life, and it means bringing my values into my daily decision making. Each day should be lived on purpose.

    At Three Rivers, we have interpreted it to mean that large visions and convictions we have ought to also show up in our outward projects and practices as well as in our professed values. We should see the large in the small and vice versa. Our values ought to be visible in our practices and projects at the same time as our projects ought to help us deepen our values and open our hearts to explore new truths that might emerge in response to what we are learning as we serve in the world.

    The hope is that if we are attentive to the way that the small and large can be connected we will realize more deeply how we are connected to one another and creation. Through the lens of fractal thinking, it becomes even more obvious that we are “members of one another.” We are a gathered people made more whole by realizing our stories and hopes are braided into one another, those who have come before, and the invitation to follow God’s invitations ever more deeply.

  • The "Daily Examen" is a type of prayerful reflection that is taught in Ignatian spirituality to help us to finetune our sense of God’s presence and discern what path we are being invited into. The examen is an "examination of conscience" or of consciousness. It is meant to help us learn to see God in all things, allowing us to seek guidance in a regular and daily kind of way. The Friendly Examen is a Quaker interpretation of the examen, utilizing our practice of worshipping with queries.

  • The Quaker tradition uses the word “leading” to talk about an inward sense that God is calling you to a particular action. In general, if a leading persists over time, individuals are encouraged to turn to their community and discern with a group how it is that they are supposed to respond to that leading in their life. Listening and responding to what God wants in our lives, to who God is calling us to be, sometimes means needing to shift what our life looks like to make more room for what is supposed to come next.

  • When we talk about “ministry” at Three Rivers it is a shorthand for "the practice of intentionally stewarding Leadings and spiritual gift(s)." This includes service within the Meeting; coming alongside others, accompanying them as they steward gifts and Leadings; and public witness beyond the Meeting.

    We think that everyone can be called into ministry. Part of what we want to support is helping everyone to develop habits that support practices of discernment that will help us each to see what gifts we are carrying and how we might use them in the world. For us, “having a ministry,” or “being a minister” means (a) that regular intention and action is being given to the care and exercise of gifts in service of a Leading and (b) that this is being done in community and with accountability.

    Much more about this can be read in "What Does 'Ministry' Mean at Three Rivers?"

  • People who are called “Quakers” are more formally called members of “The Religious Society of Friends.” It began as a Christian movement in England in the 1650s, emphasizing

    1. that the ability to discern God’s hope for the world is something everyone can do, not just an ordained few;

    2. continuing revelation, or the idea that God continues to reveal truth and divine beauty to the world today;

    3. the importance of community for refining discernment and having a group that holds you accountable;

    4. the ways in which all people are called to minister and serve one another;

    5. the tangible practice of faith commitments being more important than belief and talk about faith.

  • When we talk about being a queer church it means we understand this space to be one that purposely and explicitly uplifts, affirms, and supports people who identify as part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Because so many Queer folk have been wounded by discriminatory faith communities who believe you cannot be queer and a person of faith, we think it is important for us to be abundantly clear that this is not our position. A Three Rivers we want to provide a space where people can identify their faith commitments and their queerness openly. Being a queer church does not mean that to be involved you personally have to identify as queer, but you do need to be supportive of us being that kind of space.

  • Semi-programmed worship is the practice of gathering together with some pre-selected content decided upon in advance. Whereas expectant waiting worship is an entirely free-form of worship where no specific content is prepared in advance, semi-programmed worship will have some set pieces decided upon before the group gathers. It also includes expectant waiting worship. For example, the group may gather in silent prayer, hear a scripture reading, sing a song, hear a sermon, and then enter into expectant waiting worship.

  • Settler-colonization refers to the removal and erasure of Indigenous peoples in order to take the land for use by colonists from Europe and their descendants. Spiritually and politically, settler-colonization is intertwined with the forms of unexamined cultures of white supremacy, economic inequity, neglect for earth care, and destructive habits of consumption. Unaddressed, these dynamics not only keep us from more deeply pursuing justice, but also interfere with our ability to know one another and to know God.

  • We believe that creative practices when engaged in with intention and prayerful reflection can be sources of spiritual growth. Christine Valters Paintner says that spiritual practices do three things for people. They help us (1) make sense of the world and provide meaning , (2) cultivate a relationship to mystery, and (3) provide paths for transformation and growth, both for ourselves and the world. We find that the process of making art -- of any sort -- can help with all of these. Deciding one day to finger paint for 5 minutes once might not yield a spiritual opening, but a dedication to craft can often yield a profound sense of depth and learning about oneself and the divine.

  • We strive to create a culture that is open to change and experimentation. That means that our inclination is towards saying, “Yes” to new ideas. We recognize that there are sometimes good reasons to say “no” to something, especially if it conflicts with our values or if it is too heavy of a lift given current available resources. We’re not afraid of saying, “no.” However, we also believe that if we start from a posture of possibility, we invite God to work among us and show us a way where we thought there was no way. This means that way before we say “no” to something we ought to work to learn more about a new idea or proposal. When we start from “yes,” we help to create conditions in which we can learn new things, find out more about each other, and discover new ways to live together, worship, and act in the world.

  • Early Friends in the 1600s felt that the way worship was usually being done in the Church of England wasn’t helping them to connect with God the way they wanted. They began to strip away all the things that didn’t seem necessary until they were left with what we now call silent expectant waiting worship. They were willing to change habits and practices many had known their whole life in pursuit of a greater sense of divine presence in their shared life. Today we can do the same. Rather than presume there must be a certain way to do things because “that is how we do it,” our sense is that the reason we do things ought to be because they help us in our collective journey toward greater life and the inbreaking of the reign of God. For us that means honoring traditional practices where they still are experienced as powerful and also realizing that experimentation is to be supported. We think that the vital touchpoint of Quakerism is not silent worship so much as it is the willingness to change habits and patterns in pursuit of the deepening experience of the Inner Teacher.

  • At Three Rivers, we recognize that there are some who experience a regular call into consistent and deepening ministry in the Meeting. We see that some are particularly called into the work of maintaining a container for the gathering community and its presence among Friends and in the world. This is the work of facilitating worship, teaching, and providing connection, articulating invitation and welcome, representing the community in the wider world, and focusing on follow-through of care. In many other Friends Meetings there are Friends who are named to “Ministry and Worship” or “Ministry and Counsel” committees. We use that language too for some technical things, but mostly we call these folks our “Hosts.” Similarly, in some Friends Meetings there are paid staff that assist with religious education, coordinating worship, or organizing music. We call folks doing these kinds of activities Hosts as well. Hosts regularly and consistently give time, effort, energy, and prayer to help to make the space welcoming and invite us all into connection with others, with Creation, and with the Divine. Hosting is a more time-intensive kind of ministry in the Meeting: Hosts do work between meetings and often serve as the public face of Three Rivers to welcome newcomers and connect to other faith communities for ecumenical and interfaith collaboration. If you feel like you also want to share some of the long-term responsibility for stewarding the community, be sure to let one of the Hosts know.